After realizing that on the first of this month it has been my three month anniversary of being in Germany, I decided to write about my emotions.
During the orientation day, put together by some teachers from my university, I remember the words of those who were there to share their own experiences. That day I had proof it would be a special opportunity: I could hear the emotion of the people who were speaking and the nostalgia, which stays after something that strikes you. At the same time, however, I can’t deny I worried about leaving alone for that much time and in a distant place, if compared to the dormitories at my university (which is at approximately one hour from my house). Feeling stressed because of the preparation of different documents and for my exams, there were some days in which I was not so sure of myself as I was during the application process. Then I had to sign the contract, so I thought: “If I have been chosen, if I wanted it a lot and I know I would regret the choice of not leaving, I must do it”.
What can I say? In three months I have already changed a lot. I keep making an effort to improve my knowledge of German, especially to break the ice in situations where I need to be ready to improvise. Yet what surprised me the most was the impact that Erasmus had on me from a personal point of view. I found a second family: I would have never expected to be able to stay in a multicultural group, to share personal things with people who really understand me, and to be able to open up more.
I’m also learning to have more self-confidence, to accept my flaws, to face my worries and to highlight my strengths. I also understood you can always learn something and that travelling enriches you in an inexplicable way. I also have a sense of confirmation that I made the right choice regarding what I study, because communicating in different languages and being able to fit into a new culture is one the biggest satisfactions (aside from those who often tell me that they feel it is easier to find work in other fields. Well, I believe competence is more important than convenience).
I still don’t know what I will do in the future and this worries me a bit. However, I try to not forget enjoying these days, because I will probably have no similar opportunities. At the same time, I can’t imagine how going back home will be. I miss my family and my friends, so I look forward to seeing them for the Christmas holidays, but I don’t know if and when I’ll be able to live quietly after two Erasmus semesters.
At the same time I hope that something in the Italian system will change because, unfortunately, when comparing myself to my peers, I realize there are still some aspects we need to improve. I have already said this, and I’ll keep saying it: I’m proud of my origins and my country, but I can’t still accept that education is so poorly invested in (the Erasmus project as well) and the little attention to some signals explaining why, unfortunately, many are therefore compelled to leave our ” Bel paese”.